So That's How it's Gonna Be . . .

Forgot to Mention

2009-12-25T08:41:00.000-08:00

It's been 6 months since it happened (yes, I'm a little behind) and I forgot to mention another 100% average at Sheppard AFB. I'm so awesome, in fact, that no one in the history of my job in the Air Force has ever finished tech school with as high an average. In fact, it will never be beaten, seeing as you can't fucking do better than 100%. Eat shit. Hundreds of women were lined up outside my door waiting to fellate me. I'm amazing.

I'll be writing here again soon, seeing as things are starting to piss me off again.

A moment to reflect

2009-08-03T17:01:00.000-07:00

"Like the moon over
the day, my genius and brawn
are lost on these fools. ~Haiku"

Name who I'm quoting, and you may bear my child.

Where do I come up with these amazing idea's?

2009-05-10T19:17:00.000-07:00

Just want to say one thing:

Every laundromat should have one complimentary sock as you leave the door.

Just one.

'Nother Quickie

2009-04-23T08:29:00.000-07:00

Top graduate in my class at Keesler. 100% average. I rock.

I'm now at Sheppard AFB in butt-fuck Wichita Falls, TX completing the second half of tech school. I'd say it's a blast here . . . but it's not . . . so I won't. July 2nd I graduate here and head home for 2-4 weeks on leave, then it's off to my first duty station at McGuire AFB, NJ. I can think of worse places to go, so I'm totally ok with that.

One more thing. I know you still read this . . . you know who I'm talking to. You never left the front of my mind. Call me. There's something I need to ask you.

And yes, I ended a sentence in a preposition.
...how I roll.

Holy crap I'm back.

2009-02-18T18:48:00.000-08:00

So, where the fuck have I been, you ask? I made one of the best decisions of my life and joined the Air Force. (Again.) I'm an A1C in tech school for Integrated Avionics at Keesler AFB, Biloxi MS. I'll try to start updating here again, but it's been balls to the wall since I left in November.

Updates soon.

Stop asking me if I'm voting for your shitty candidate.

2008-09-09T10:12:00.000-07:00

I'm getting fucking sick of all the trendy, Starbuck cappucino drinking, iPod/Mac using assholes out there going on about how badly they want to fellate Barack Obama. "BUT WE NEED CHANGE AND HE SAYS WE NEED CHANGE TOO ITS LIKE HE KNOWS US LOL!" It's called pandering to the fears of Americans, also known as telling you dipshits what you want to hear. Every one of his speeches are the same: he drones on about lollipops and fucking rainbows, everyone holding hands and sucking each others dicks. "HOPE CHANGE HOPE CHANGE VOTE FOR ME NOW LAWLS!"

Fortunately when someone comes to me with this shit there's a quick and efficient way of shuting them up. "But Willis," they blubber, "Obama represents hope and change!" And so I retort, "what is he going to change?"

...

This question is nearly always followed by a stupid expression and utter silience as the dipshit tries to think of something. Guess what, asshole . . . you can't. It's not entirely their fault though, because the reason they can't think of anything is because Obama hasn't said anything. Ever. He goes on about hope and fairy tales while giving me as few details as possible hoping my brain will automatically fill in the gap. I thought "surely people aren't that dense to vote for a candidate they know nothing about."

/facepalm

I knew better than that.

Barack looks down on America in glee as his flaccid penis is lodged firmly in their collective mouths.

As for McCain, he doesn't bother me too much, but his new VP selection does. Palin is Hilary Clinton on vallium. At first I thought it was a brilliant move, but then I heard the bitch talk. So, she's against everything I believe in? Awesome. Since McCain may die any minute, I really have to look at her as a possible president. No thanks. Hell, I'm reading an article right now explaining how her expenses while in office are under heavy scrutiny. For example, she seems to like to charge the state when sending her spoiled ass kids on vacation, because that's who I want in office: someone who takes my tax money and blows it on themself.

McCain pinches off a loaf on America vaguely resembling an uptight middle aged woman.

So it seems that, quite literally this time, we have a wish in one hand and shit in the other. I can't wait to see which is heavier >_>

Congrats, you killed your kid.

2008-04-01T21:15:00.000-07:00

I often find that there's a direct relationship between how religious someone is and how fucking stupid they are.

(Article removed)

Basically, instead of taking their daughter to a doctor, the parents prayed. The kid died. Awesome parenting there.

If only their faith was stronger >_>

Kentucky is a state, dipshits.

2008-01-23T16:33:00.000-08:00

For the love of God, I'm fucking tired of uneducated wankers trying to tell me that "Kentucky isn't a State, it's a commonwealth." I've tried many times, fruitlessly, to explain why that makes you a dumbass. The fact that it is always said condescendingly, as to imply that it's some little known fact that only this person is aware of, only increases the degree of their stupidity. The only thing worse is when I'm stuck in a room full of these people, all of whom believe fervently that Kentucky is not a state.

I'm sure people in Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, and Virginia have the same problem as I do, considering they also officially declare themselves as commonwealths. "OMG see see, they're not states either LOLOLOL!!!1!" Idiots . . . let me enlighten everyone as to the definition of a commonwealth:

com·mon·wealth (kŏm'ən-wělth')
n.
1. The people of a nation or state; the body politic.
2. A nation or state governed by the people; a republic.
3. Commonwealth
a. Used to refer to some U.S. states, namely, Kentucky, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.

"commonwealth." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. 23 Jan. 2008.

For anyone whose reading comprehension skills are on the same level as knowledge of one's own state, I even highlighted the three instances that make you look like a tool.

Eat shit.

Dear Hollywood. Stop raping my eyes.

2008-01-12T13:42:00.000-08:00

I may be all alone on this one but I really don't fucking care. I can't even tell you how many times in the last few years I've had a friend that came up to me and told me how great some shitty movie was to them. I began to wonder if maybe my friends were imbeciles. It soon became clear to me, after seeing how much these terrible movies grossed, that it wasn't my friends, but movie-goers in general who were shelling out the cash to go see the latest slop being excreted on theater screens everywhere.

At this point, I can't really blame Hollywood. I mean, clearly, Americans love terrible movies, pathetic acting and plots that make "Battlefield Earth" look like fucking Shakespeare. Here's some of the latest vomit-inducing flicks I've had the misfortune of seeing . . . and yet somehow managed to make more money then I'll make in my lifetime.

1.) Transformers

No, this isn't the awesome 1980's cartoon movie. This is the latest turd that Micheal Bay managed to pinch off onto my childhood memories. How can you possibly ruin a movie with so much potential? Well, first, make sure you choose actors that have no talent at all (with the exception of the consistently awesome John Turturro.) Hell even Jon Voight delivered his lines like he was asking himself "why the fuck am I here?"

Second, you know the already established plot line and continuity that fans everywhere are *already* in love with and expect to see? Get rid of it. In fact, don't use any plot at all. Plot just gets in the way of your amazing special effects, which brings me to my third point.

Now that you've spent the majority of you money and effort on making the CG transformers and special effects look amazing . . . shake the camera as violently and obnoxiously as you can to make certain your audience never sees anything cool looking on screen for more than an instant.

The only thing worse than watching a shitty movie it having to strain to see how bad it is. I seriously had a pounding headache from squinting through the entire movie trying to figure out what the hell was going on. I often found myself wondering what retarded chimpanzee with Parkinson's Bay found to film this dung heap. Then I remembered he does it for every movie he makes on purpose because he thinks it's artistic. Or maybe he's trying to piss people off. Too bad everyone is too busy sucking his flaccid penis to care.

Whatever . . . I still have the cartoon movie, which is far superior.

2.) Alien vs. Predator

I can't say this was any surprise, considering is was filmed and written by Paul W. S. (worthless shit) Anderson. This movie was nothing more than a craptastic fan-film made by a director who should have been run out of the country years ago. Once again, you take a great concept that's already laid out for you and twist it into some vile abomination. People were laughing in the audience in places that I KNOW the writer did not intend people to laugh. It's also the only movie I've ever seen that forced droves of people to walk out of in the middle.

And yet, made enough for a slightly less terrible sequel called . . .

3.) AvP: Requiem (currently grossing $30M)

Fox: No one would ever go see another AvP movie by Paul W.S. Anderson at this point, so what do we do? Hmm, lets grab a pair of FX specialists, who arbitrarily insist they be called the Bothers Strause, to direct the next slop heap, despite the fact they've never directed a movie in their lives! Yes . . . NOTHING can go wrong here!

This movie might have been better if it didn't pick up right after the last one, which is universally regarded as atrocious. Or if there was one single actor who was worth a shit. Oh, and the effects might have been ok, but the whole movie was filmed by candle light . . . so who the fuck knows. Nothing like sitting in front of a black screen for 90 minutes. I'll never understand why Fox Studios has a propensity to destroy the things that the love.

Ditch this shit.

4+.) Hot Rod/Superbad/Fred Claus/any other random comedy

Don't ever walk up to me and tell me how great these shitty comedies are unless you want a side-kick to the throat. If you've seen any one of these movies, you've seen them all. This is the sort of shit that panders to the audience that exclaims "OOOOOOO" whenever they see someone on screen fall down or get hit in the nuts for th 27th time. A good comedy can be funny without resorting to "gags" and canned jokes that I've heard a thousand times before. To do otherwise insults my intelligence as well as my wallet. Fuck you.

--------------

Lets do everyone everywhere a favor. Stop chucking out money for shitty movies. Only then will they stop making them.

Kentucky Scarecrow

2007-09-02T22:11:00.000-07:00

It's times like these I love being from Kentucky. When a scarecrow just won't cut it, nothing else beats a giant propane canon who's impact your neighbors can feel 500 yards away. Read this shit: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20564433/?GT1=10357

First "Fanfilm"

2007-07-29T15:47:00.000-07:00

The Paducah Imperials have posted our first fanfilm which, surprisingly (to me anyways,) has gotten a great response so far. I admit, I was worried it was going to suck balls, but it came out alright in the end. Check it here on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPbLHTV2yxE

All Quiet on the Western Front.

2007-06-14T20:57:00.000-07:00

Well, I realize I haven't updated in over three months now. Don't get your hopes up though, cause I'm not updating it right now either.

Well, not in the sense that I have anything rant about. Not much ires me as of late. So, I thought I'd do something unusual and let people know what's been going on with me lately. This is primarily aimed at people who check my blog daily, and yet won't take the time to call or email me. You know who you are.

I don't feel like writing much, which works out considering I can sum up my life in about three words right now.

Broke. Single. Bored.

Alright, I lied a little. I'm gonna elaborate a bit on each point . . . mainly cause of the latter point.

Broke - I have a job that pays $12 an hour and I live at home. How can I be broke you ask? Well, we build a house, I make bank for 3-6 weeks, and then there's nothing for a month or two. That hurts me, bad.

Single - I may just give up in this area for the time being. I couldn't make it to Lexington in time, so I missed out there. The women here just suck. The one in Evansville went to work at camp, and will undoubtedly loose interest by the time she gets back (I know how these things work.) Wah wah, boo hoo, I know. Fuck you.

Bored - I still get to do conventions and such with the club . . . not to mention weekly parties, and yet I still find myself staring at this screen an inordinate amount of my day. Of course, if I had work, this wouldn't be a problem.

Keep reaching for that star, William. Go me.

Oh, and I seem to have picked up a random Carbondale viewer. Sup.

Online etiquette, for those who don't want to get punched in the throat

2007-03-07T18:17:00.001-08:00

For anyone who wishes to type like an idiot, please do, so that it makes it easier on me deciding who to ignore. For everyone else who would rather not look like they possess a level of intellect ranging somewhere between a primate and hog shit, listen up. Here are seven guaranteed ways to ensure you've enraged me to the point where I'd like to set your house on fire and laugh gleefully as I watch you run out the door, on fire, in a vain attempt to blow the flames out only realize that you are, in fact, an idiot for not dropping and rolling instead. Of course if you were smart you wouldn't be on fire to begin with.

(Please note, writing and proofreading this page was an excruciating experience for me. I've temporarily lost 30% of my vision. I would have written more, but I feared the effect would become permanent. Be grateful.)

1.) TYPE WITH YOUR CAPS LOCK ON, BECAUSE I LOVE BEING VIRTUALLY SCREAMED AT THROUGHOUT AN ENTIRE CONVERSATION. ACTUALLY I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO SIT THROUGH AN ENTIRE CONVERSATION LIKE THAT, BECAUSE THE CONVERSATION USUALLY ENDS AFTER THE FIRST SENTENCE I GET FROM YOU, AT WHICH POINT I PUT YOU ON IGNORE. DO YOU KNOW HOW FAR IT IS BETWEEN THE "A" KEY AND YOUR CAPS BUTTON? ABOUT A HALF INCH. THAT'S HOW FAR YOU'D HAVE TO MOVE YOUR LEFT PINKY TO NOT LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE.

2.) AlTeRnAtE cApItAl AnD lOwEr CaSe LeTtErS aS mUcH aS pOsSiBlE. WhY sPeNd FiVe SeCoNdS tYpInG a MeSsAgE wHeN yOu CaN sPeNd FiVe MiNuTeS, pAiNsTaKiNgLy GoInG oUt Of YoUr WaY tO lOoK lIkE a ToTaL dIpShIt!? i'M a DaMn GoOd TyPiSt, BuT tHiS sEcTiOn HaS bEeN gOiNg On fOr A fUlL sIx, No, SeVeN MiNuTeS nOw! I hAd MoRe To SaY, bUt My EyEs ArE bLeEdInG aLl OvEr My KeYbOaRd. (total typing time: 9 minutes, 50 seconds)

3.) Spel evry werd lik it soundz. Sens wen iz riting lik a 3 yr old aceptable? Actually, wen I wuz 3, Im purty shur I culd rite better than thiz. If u want 2 imprez me, lern 2 spel. Then well tawk.

4.) Forget that there are these things called "periods" that let your reader know when your first sentence fucking ends and your next one begins when I read posts and messages such as these by the time I reach the bottom I'm totally exhausted I feel like I took one giant breath and read a dissertation without stopping for air well no I take that back I've never seen the bottom of a paragraph like this because I never read past the point I realize that there's nary a period through out these are also usually the type of people who decide "commas" are unnecessary because they don't realize that their purpose is not to let you know when to breath and that just because it's not going to be read aloud doesn't mean they have no uses again the "." key is only a mere one quarter of an inch from the "l" key meaning that you'd only occasionally have to move your right pinky that far to not look like you were trying to piss me off on purpose oh and one more thing try hitting "enter" occasionally just for fun so I'm not crushed under a giant wall of text jackass

5.) Put "lol" at the end of every Goddamn sentence, LOL! You're not fooling anyone; I know you're not really "laughing out loud," LOL! There's nothing wrong with "lol" itself; hell I use it occasionally myself but only when I'm actually laughing, LOL! To use it unnecessarily simultaneously insults my intelligence (which, by the way, is quite profound) and makes it look like you're patronizing me, LOL! That's a double ass beating right there, at which point I'll be "lolling" for real . . . LOL!

6.) Say "kk" instead of "ok." The first time I read that, I seriously had to ask what it meant. I never would have imaginined it was "dumbass" for "ok." While we're at it, lets write "to" as "tt," "of" as "ff," and "me" as "mm." The day you need a shortcut for a word with only two fucking letters is the day you need to cut your own wrists. And remember, it's down the highway, not across the street. I don't want you fucking this up, because failing at killing yourself is like failing at failing . . . but I digress. Is that "o" key really that far away? Again, quarter inch people.

7.) End your post or message with "kkthxbai." Nothing else says snootiness or condenscendence better (also, see number three above.) If someone said that to me in person the way it's read on the internet, I'd give them a flying knee to their ribcage almost instinctually. If there was a way to give a virtual dragon kick through the internet to their faces, I'd wear that key the fuck out kkthxbai.

"Bostonian" is now synonymous with "dumbass."

2007-01-31T17:55:00.000-08:00

For fuck's sake people . . .

If you watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force you'll either
a.) get a kick out of this
or
b.) doubt the existence of God

Click this link for a shining example of ignorance meets paranoia.

--------
edit: 2/1/06

I'm glad the majority of the country agrees with me.

For anyone in the Metropolis, IL area . . .

2007-01-28T11:34:00.000-08:00

You might want to check out this sci-fi convention, if you're into that kind of nerdy shit. If the fact that Jeremy Bulloch (Boba Fett) will be there isn't enough to make you attend, then the fact that I will be there in costume should. All the Paducah Imperials will be there in costume, in addition to any other 501st members who wish to come show out.

Be there.

Read this, now.

2006-12-20T17:39:00.000-08:00

Every man and woman (especially women) out there needs to read these two articles. If you won't take it from me, then take it from the professionals (although I always did consider myself a professional on sex . . . but oh well.)

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16287113/?GT1=8816

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16282622

You don't fuck with the Piranha Plant . . . you just don't.

2006-12-11T19:50:00.000-08:00

This is made entirely of win: http://tppto.ytmnd.com/

My one wish

2006-11-19T12:04:00.000-08:00

I think that we all have things that we would like to see or experience someday before we die. Some may wish to go to outer space. Some of you crazy fucks want to jump out of an airplane. A lot of guys want to be in a threesome. What I want is much less selfish though. All I want is for a third-party candidate to win a presidential election. That's it. The current line of thinking is that either you're a republican or a democrat. Red or blue.

It's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. Well, no . . . that title goes to the people who say "I'm not voting for a third-party candidate because I don't want to throw my vote away." Everyone who has ever said this needs to line up in front of me so I can punch you all in the throat (after the line for "if you don't like the country then get out" ends of course.) These are the same people who bitch that the country needs change and yet vote for the same fucking party every election. Pure stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Until the american people have more than two people to choose from, things will never change. Did you know that this country is the ONLY democracy in the fucking world that has less than three parties run in their elections?

Don't forget that you, the people, have a voice. The only way a third-party president will ever be elected is if you start voting for them. If you don't like one of the main candidates then don't fucking vote for them. If you haven't figured out by now, no I'm not a republican and no, I'm not a democrat. I vote for who I want in office, not who's party I'm affiliated with and certainly not the lesser of two evils. It won't happen anytime soon but if you start working for it now, then it could very well happen before I die.

been a while

2006-09-28T16:52:00.000-07:00

No updates lately . . . but then you already knew that. I started to explain why but then I remembered that I really don't give a shit. I will leave you with an insightful little nugget though. Eat up:

Stop and think about the last time you passed on an opportunity. It doesn't matter if it was a job opening, a date with an attractive female (or male,) or maybe just the opportunity to scratch your dangly parts while no one was looking. Now think about what had to come to pass for that opportunity to present itself. No, I don't mean the fact that someone quit their job, you decided to go bar hopping, or your friends turned to watch a passing corvette. Go way back. No, I don't mean the fact that you went to college, went through puberty, or were born a man. Go way the fuck back. No, I don't mean that fact that your parents sneezed during sex the night you were concieved or that her parents didn't. Go back further. No I don't mean the fact that George Washington gave up stamp collecting to lead an army or that Hitler was a total asshole. Take it to the extreme. No, I don't mean the fact that the earth was formed through a totally random series of cosmic occurances of epic proportions (creationists, eat shit.) Go all the way back to when the universe was created. That's right . . . big bang (again, creationists can blow me.) Understand that in order for you to be where you are at any given time, everything had to happen *precisely* the way it did. If the energy released after the big bang moved in any other way than it did, then you wouldn't even fucking exist. I'm not saying that it's fate. I'm saying the opportunities we are presented with are due entirely to a combination of chance and choice. So now go back that that opportunity that you carelessly passed on. The chances that you would be in that position were astromical on the borderline of non-existent. Sure, you'll have more job openings. You'll meet more people. You'll have more chances to scratch your junk. Just keep in mind that the particular opportunity was one in a 1.0x10^64,751,764,756,478,156,475,461,704,703,315,785,931 at best. That why my biggest fear is a fear of missed opportunities. That opportunity you passed on . . . was it worth it?

Seven things you wish I'd invent.

2006-08-19T16:52:00.000-07:00

1. The Pee Pee Funnel

It's the perfect gift for those of us who don't have a urinal in their bathrooms at home (which is, sad to say, everyone.) The idea hit me the other say as I walked to my toilet, pulled out my cyclopean cunt clobberer, started up a stream, and then started coughing incessantly. The end result wasn't pretty as I can't very well stop once I start. This is where the pee pee funnel would come into play. The concept is quite simply really. Every household would keep one of these, essentially a giant funnel, next to their porcelain goddess. It works great for any accuracy impairing ailment such as, but not limited to: coughing, sneezing, the hiccups, drunken stupors, dizzyness, the old finishing shake, getting tackled or otherwise accosted (I'm sure it's happened . . . best time to rob someone really,) poor eyesight, etc.

2. Mowerless Grass

This is seriously something that has been pissing me off for years. We have grapes now with no seeds. We have apples genetically engineered to taste better. Then why, oh why the fuck am I still having to cut my grass? I'd be happy to spit out grape seeds the rest of my life if someone had invented grass that stops growing at one inch instead. I know you assholes can do it. Fuck the goddamn mower companies . . . I haven't been able to find a mower that doesn't fall apart in less than three fucking years anyways. They can starve for all I care but I know they'd just move on to making an equally shitty product, reaping millions from it. That's how we do it nowadays, right, shitheads? Oh . . . yeah, mowerless grass would rock.

3. TV Remote Pager

We have them on our phones, so why not our TV remotes? Is it because I'd actually find it useful? I use the phone pager about once every couple weeks. If my remote had a pager, I'd use it at least once a day (assuming I watched TV anymore.) I lost my remote about three years ago and literally tore my room apart looking for it. I never did find it until a few months ago, right after someone finally bought me a new one after getting tired of hearing me bitch out it.

4. The Beer Tap

Instead of water . . . beer. Enough said.
Click here for a working example.

5. The Self-Flushing Toilet

This has been done. Good work men . . . damn good work.

6. Everlasting Fluorescent Bulbs.

The concept of fluorescent lighting is quite brilliant in that the gas inside the bulb is never actually expended. Then why do we have to replace them every so often? It's because the manufacturers intentionally make the seals less than perfect to allow the gas to slowly but surely leak out which, to them, equals more money. They could make a bulb that lasted forever if they wanted to . . . they just don't. Consider yourself smarter then you were 30 seconds ago.

7. The Rake-O-Matic

I know it's a cheesy name but fuck . . . I was only ten when I invented it. Essentially it's a rake that, when you push forward on the handle, closes and traps the leaves within for easy disposal. Now, I know what you idiots are thinking: "OMG THAT'S BEEN INVENTED LOL!!1!" No, asshole, it was stolen from me and my friend, Micah Howard, a couple of lowly 5th graders at the time. There was a thing called the "Invention Convention" at my school, the rake-o-matic being our invention and entry. Needless to say, something that rocks that hard was a big hit. Well, mere weeks after we presented our invention Micah's father pointed out an ad on the TV; it was our rake-o-matic. Even the number to call was from the same goddamn area that we lived. They called it the wombat I believe. We knew better though. It was absolute faggotry, stealing from a couple of ten-year olds. If I ever found the thieving fuck, I'd shove that wombat up his fucking ass, rake end first. Alas, this is a lesson in patenting.

Seriously, last one . . . for now

2006-08-10T06:58:00.000-07:00

Waiting for Snakes on a Plane to come out? Here's something that will help tide you over.

Introducing:

KITTENS ON A PLANE!!

Darth Vader is an Asshole

2006-08-09T20:43:00.000-07:00

Normally I bash people for posting links like this, but fuck . . . this is too funny. You'll want broadband, which I'm assuming you have now that you're back.

edit: 1/17/06******
Old link went bad. Apparently youtube wasn't allowed to pack this much awesome in a single clip. Here's a new link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQtzQyn3Zw8

Oh, and it'd be nice if someone told me it was bad. That's what comments are for, douches.
******************

Something to check out.

2006-08-03T19:07:00.000-07:00

If you've seen Pulp Fiction (and you have broadband,) then check this out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ehCwns7mGc

If you don't have broadband, then get it. It's time to stop living in the fucking dark ages. If an extra $20 a month is going to break you, then perhaps you should consider making some lifestyle changes . . . or get a job.

Also, if you haven't seen Pulp Fiction, then go see it you twats. It's a fucking classic, part of our culture and besides that, it's just fucking good.

Don't come back until you've seen it.

The Camaro is back in action.

2006-08-01T15:11:00.000-07:00

I went down to get my car today and I must say it looks fantastic. I had the detail shop wax and buff it while they had it which made it look brand fucking new. Granted half the car IS brand fucking new, but still . . . it didn't look this good when I bought it. The best part is that it's all courtesy of SafeCo Insurance Co.

One more item to the list of why I hate Myspace

2006-07-28T22:07:00.000-07:00

Granted this is an individual and not really myspace . . . but it still angers me. If you use myspace then you *might* be aware of something called "rude kitty." You have to be listed as a friend to see the profile it seems, as he has suffered major attacks from the thousands (yes, thousands) of people who know better. The asshole claims that rude kitty was his creation, but in fact YTMND used the image for "happy cat" long before "rude kitty" was conjured. I'm not saying YTMND was the 1st site to use it; we got it from somethingawful.com, and I'm sure they got it from somewhere else . . . that's not the point though. The point is that this retard is getting popular by claiming he created something that half the (educated) internet community knows he didn't.

Don't believe me? Go to www.ytmnd.com and run a search for either "happy cat" or "NEDM." Look at how far back the creation dates go.

YTMND: Defenders of the Internets
http://rudekittyvshappycat.ytmnd.com/

Would You Like to Join Myspace?

2006-07-26T16:35:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since we've touched base,
Would you please like to join Myspace?

No, I'd rather be sprayed with mace,
directly in the fucking face.
You'd have to be a mental case
to want to join that damned Myspace.

The people here aren't really that bad,
you ought to try the newest fad.

I hate goths and emos just a tad,
simply hanging around them makes me mad.
You could give all the reasons you had,
but I'd rather be bit right in the nad.

But you get your own page on which you decide
what content you want; no rules to abide.
Post pictures and text plus a bit of music
on a pretty background that you get to pick.

If you want a site that fills you with pride
then make it yourself (have you even tried?)
You say you want to express creativity
but fifty percent of users play 'How could this happen to me?'
If I hear it once more I think I'll be sick,
and by the way, I think Tom is a dick.

Why, may I ask, do you hate Tom, you prick?
He conquered the internet in a single lick.

He got rich by tricking impressionable fools
into thinking his site totally rules.
But I know that you're all just a bunch of tools
thinking that your shitty webpage makes you look cool.
Just one more thing (that you didn't hear from me:)
she said she was twenty,
but she's really fourteen.

-willismaximus (7/26/06)

Myspace much?

2006-07-25T20:58:00.000-07:00

Jesus fucking Christ, I suddenly got a dozen hits from myspace today. Just so we're clear, I hate myspace and anyone who don't. Why you ask?

http://lolmyspace.ytmnd.com/

I'll no doubt elaborate tomorrow.

The next time you start to engage in small talk, don't.

2006-07-25T19:42:00.000-07:00

Last week here in Kentucky it was rather hot. No, I mean fucking hot, as in 100 degrees and 95% humidity "hot." So naturally we decided to do some roofing because apparently that's what you do when it's so hot that your nuts start to boil.

I'm working my ass off in this shit, getting light-headed and wanting to puke, when I hear the words come from someone's mouth to the tune of "is it hot enough for you?" No, it's not hot enough . . . I LIKE the feel of sweat rolling down the crack of my ass. What kind of ignorant shit is that? You'd never walk up black man and ask "shackles of oppresion in full swing today?" You wouldn't go up to a man in prison and say "ass sore?" would you, dipshit? Please don't turn my misery into a topic for small talk. In fact, if you're that incompetant, please don't speak at all.

Why do people feel like they always need to be talking in the presence of others, even total strangers? I don't know you and chances are good I won't like you even if I *was* willing to get to know you . . . which I'm not. If you feel awkward then meaningless small talk will only make it worse considering I'll probably just give you a blank stare and continue about my business.

Of course none of this applies if you're an attractive young woman . . . or even an older attractive woman. You may actually elicit a response, probably a grunt accompanied by momentary eye contact.

Listen to me people: If you can find either a woman OR a friend who you can share a *comfortable* extended silence with, then you've got something there. Remember that.

Riddle hints

2006-07-22T17:42:00.000-07:00

I've decided that if you need help you can ask in comments in the appropriate post (don't be shy now.) I'll do my best to help you in the right direction but I've decided that I'm not giving out answers yet. Remember, I can only help up to the point that I've completed on either riddle, which I'll try to keep updated.

Another riddle . . .

2006-07-22T11:37:00.000-07:00

. . . as if the last one I posted wasn't enough to make you want to go punch a kid in the kidneys, here's another one that's a bit more interesting to me. I know, it's old, but I imagine most people havne't seen it yet.

http://deathball.net/notpron

I got to 15 before I got tired of it. Arrogant bastard is definately harder

Stupid cunts abound

2006-07-19T19:30:00.000-07:00

I just got through with a delightful conversation with someone who was clearly an educated, well spoken woman of high social status and class who has better things to do than sit at her computer and act like a bitch fifteen year old.

By this, of course I mean that it was an amusing conversation from my end with someone who obviously had the mental capacity of a three year old with down-syndrome, was severely grammatically challenged, who is no doubt upset about being labeled as white trash and wondering "why" while having nothing better to do than sit at her computer and act like a bitch fifteen year old . . . because being proud of being a bitch and exclaiming it to the world is like being proud of raping babies for a living and wearing a sign so everyone knows it.

Conversation below:

summer_is_a_suga_muffin: who said i wanted to read your "journal"?
me: Who said I care if you don't?
summer_is_a_suga_muffin: I DID
me: oh, i see
summer_is_a_suga_muffin: now may i had............... who the fuck is this
me: This is William, we talked while I was in Lexington
me: *edit* comes to mind
summer_is_a_suga_muffin: *edit*?
me: whoops, perhaps not. Hmm, where did we meet then . . .
summer_is_a_suga_muffin: like im goin to know if i asked who u were
summer_is_a_suga_muffin: well william im summer
me: Nice to meet you again summer
summer_is_a_suga_muffin: so u get a kick outta sending god knows how many people your 'journal" so u called it
me: not really considering you're the second out of 94 people who actually messaged back.
summer_is_a_suga_muffin: u know its funny im on ur list and ur not on mine
me: I think I may have to revise my list
summer_is_a_suga_muffin: well i had to............. thats just me
me: this is a good thing, so no worries
summer_is_a_suga_muffin: well just to let ya know i didnt read ur "jornal" thingy
summer_is_a_suga_muffin: journal
me: ok, so it's a bad thing
summer_is_a_suga_muffin: and y is that
summer_is_a_suga_muffin: like i'm goin to take time out of my precious life to read some shit u wrote..............lol...........u believed people would read it
me: people do read it, so no worries there. And I think I suddenly see the irony to your screenname. Well done
summer_is_a_suga_muffin: lots of people do!
summer_is_a_suga_muffin: really im not suga muffin, im a bitch...........
summer_is_a_suga_muffin: so if ur needing nothin else but to take up my time once again id be glad to GO
me: Hey, don't let me keep you

Spoken like a true stupid cunt. Congratulations . . . on a stupid cunt scale from one to Paris Hilton, you're a solid seven. Must feel good setting the bar for aspiring stupid cunts across the nation.

That's her yahoo screenname. Tell her "hi" for me.

A riddle so hard, even God said "fuck this."

2006-07-18T11:35:00.000-07:00

If you can successfully complete this string of riddles then you will win five internets.

In fact, if you complete the 1st two, I'd still congratulate you.

http://bastards.alexconnect.net/1part/stage0.htm

*Update 7/22/06*
Due to all the people linking from google looking for these riddles of badassitude, I imagine I may post answers sometime soon. I just need to do it in a way that won't spoil it for the people who really want to try rather than half-ass it and give up.

And yes, stage eight is a whore . . . but you don't take shit from whores, do you?

Fucking seething . . . . .

2006-07-17T15:22:00.000-07:00

I'm so goddamn mad right now I'm not even sure I can type. Never have I been so pissed as I was today (and still am, as you can tell.) Vera Sandoval, a woman who works for my dad and has to the the dumbest, most incompetant bitch I have EVER met in my LIFE, today managed to back INTO my car, a 2000 Camaro I've barely had for a year, with a dump truck and totally demolished the front driver side of the car. I don't mean she bumped it . . . she damn near tore the shit OFF. I find out after she leaves when my father calls me at the house telling me I need to go look at my car. I'm sure the whole fucking neighborhood heard the obscenities that followed shortly thereafter.

I was inside, not even near my car which was parked next to my driveway in the grass. She had a clear shot straight up the driveway but manages to nail my car sitting off to the side in the yard. Total cost for repairs? $4000 . . . half of what I paid for the damn thing. Since she doesn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of, our insurance has to cover the whole thing. This means they have to send an adjuster out, which takes more time, and they'll have the auto-shop use aftermarket parts.

I swear to God . . . I had that POS blazer for 6 years and no one so much as scratched it. I'm finally able to buy a nice car and some stupid cunt nearly totals it in my own fucking driveway . . .

FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!

MG-34

2006-07-16T10:31:00.000-07:00

As I've previously stated, I'm getting into the gun replica thing. My second project is for an MG-34. Like the sterling, it's a vintage WWII weapon. However this bad boy is a bit larger, being a light machine gun rather than a submachine gun. Here is my goal:

Here is my progress thus far:

Being a prototype, like my other gun, it's not going to come out looking as good as the first picture. You never can really plan one to be perfect until you've built at least one, as there are always problems that you didn't originally forsee and there are always better ways to build it. I'd be done with it already if it weren't for the fact that the industrial fan in the back of the shop that keeps it cool has broken and my father has been spraying truck parts for the last two months in there. I can't even walk through there without getting a high . . . which isn't all bad, but still . . .

A bit heart-broken.

2006-07-15T13:10:00.000-07:00

Can't say I've ever been hurt so bad that I literally had a pain in my heart. It may work out but things have suddenly become increasingly doubtful.

Pray for me, please.

My Kingdom For a Gun.

2006-07-10T10:38:00.000-07:00

It should be obvious by now that as far as Star Wars goes . . . yeah, I'm a fan. If you read the old live journal, you would already know that this is me below (sans helmet.)

The ten times of awesome you see here is me.

After I built my armor, I still severely lacked the one thing that makes a stormtrooper, well, useful: A fucking blaster. After trying to buy one from someone online and allowing him to believe he had successfully screwed me out of my money (oh no, I haven't forgotten and I am coming for you, you lying little bitch,) I decided that if anyone can do it, I of course can.

. . . and I did. What you saw me holding there was totally my creation: an almost exact replica of the prop they use in the movies, which happened to be based on an old WWII sterling submachine gun (british paratroopers used them.)

To show you what my gun looks like next to the real thing I'm including two pictures: the 1st is made by Master Replicas, the "best" professional movie prop replica team out there. The 2nd is my replica, made totally out of pvc pipe, wood, and sheet metal.

Total cost: up to $400

Total cost: ~$30

Not only is mine more detailed, but it was about $350 cheaper. Feel that stinging sensation in your ass, Master Replica's? Get used to it, cause I'm making more. I didn't even have a dremel for that prototype. Now that I can really add some detail these babies will go for $100-$200 a pop on ebay. Think I'm full of shit? Go to Ebay yourself and run a search on "e-11 stormtrooper blaster. " If those half-assed wanna-be replica's can sell that well then surely I can make some serious beer money with mine.

(P.S. The guy who ripped me off is:

Steve Sherman
915 Russell St.
Ottumwa, IA 52501
Telephone: (641) 684-6587
www.sjsmodelsandprops.com (site no longer exists.)

If you feel like it, give him a call and let him know what a dickless piece of shit he is. In fact, do it even if you don't feel like it.)

Update soon

2006-07-09T23:44:00.000-07:00

I just got through delivering cock rockage and ball stompage to about half the state of Kentucky which is why it's been quiet here for the last three days. Right now I must rest, for even I have my limits.

Show your support!

2006-07-06T20:51:00.000-07:00

I encourage and fully accept charitable donations in the form of:

cash, check, money order, sex, lap dances, three course meals, plasma TV's, Vanilla Coke (good luck finding it,) corvettes, gasoline (regular, unleaded,) alcohol (be creative,) marijuana (I won't tell anyone if you don't,) cheap hookers, expensive hookers, cats, baseball bats which which to beat said cats, porn, pet monkies, pin-stripe suits and monocles for said monkies, pirate memorabilia, knives, guns, things that go "boom" (preferable after I've thrown them, probably at small children or Gary Busy,) . . .

. . . or any other manly gift befitting of me. Feel free to mix it up too.

In return for any donation that doesn't suck, I will send you either:

A.) one free breast signing
OR
B.) one free ball stomping

The fun in that is that it's totally random.

Totally.

Do I sound mexican/spanish?

2006-07-06T13:40:00.000-07:00

I just looked more closely at my hits and was astounded to realize that roughly half were from IP addresses south of the U.S.

What the fuck is it about this journal that interests spanish folk? Since I, myself, do not speak spanish . . . I may never know.

Perhaps Scientology is rampant down there as well.

I would like to officially renew my objection to Scientology.

2006-07-03T17:32:00.000-07:00

I had a dream the other night. It was the type of dream that one wakes from, thinks for a moment and goes "what the fuck?" It's dreams like this that makes me wonder if I really am crazy.

There wasn't much to it. Scientologists broke into my home, tried to rob me and a shootout ensued. Granted there were only two of them . . . one of whom was a 14 year old girl, named Stephanie I think . . . I was still overwhelmed. Seriously, it wasn't my fault . . . my .38 isn't exactly accurate at any range and this must have been one of those low budget dreams. Luckily I awoke before the sinister Scientologists moved in for the kill but I was still somewhat disturbed. It wasn't a "scary" dream . . . just, as I said, one of those that makes you go "where the fuck did that come from?"

It did however piss me off, because it reminded me of how much I hate Scientology. Normally I would preface an entry like this with something to the extent of "if you're a Scientologist, you probably shouldn't read this." As it turns out though, if you're a scientologist, I hate you. So I really don't care if I piss you off or not, considering you have been a constant source of rage to me for quite some time now. As a matter of fact, you can eat a dick for all I care.

Now, I understand that there are many belief systems out there, some of which are, for lack of a better description, fucking wierd. But, you know . . . one really does have to draw the line somewhere when it comes to religious tolerance (and in the case of Scientology, I use the term "religious" loosely.) So an evil alien lord (Xenu) kidnapped all the humans in the galaxy, brought them here in spaceships that look a lot like dc-8's, stacked them around a volcano, set off a nuke in said volcano killing everone, caught their souls in giant machines in the skies, brainwashed them into believing in Jesus, Buddah and Gary Busy, set them loose to stick to the bodies of the few surviving humans, giving us the insecurities, fears and general moodiness the we have today. Of course they can cure you, for 10 easy payments of $50,000.

What kind of imbecile falls for this shit? Oh, that's right . . . people like

Kirstie Alley, actress
Anne Archer, actress (her son, Tom Davis, runs the Los Angeles "Celebrity Centre")James Barbour, Broadway actor
Lynsey Bartilson, actress
Catherine Bell, actress
Mary Bono, U.S. House member from California
Sonny Bono (deceased 1998),
musician and member of U.S. House from California (claimed
Catholicism on campaign biographies)
David Campbell, musician
Nancy Cartwright, voice over
artist, most famous as the voice of Bart Simpson
Sharon Case, actress
Kate Ceberano, actress and musician
Erika Christensen, actress
Chick Corea, musician
Cathy Lee Crosby, actress, co-host of TV's That's Incredible!
Tom Cruise, actor (raised Catholic,
according to Parade; attended a Franciscan seminary in Cincinnati and aspired to
become a Catholic priest)
Sky Dayton, founder and Chairman of the Board of EarthLink
Jason Dohring, actor
Jenna Elfman, actress, raised Catholic, and her husband Bodhi, actor.
David S. Freeman, writer, video game developer, and screenwriting teacher
Paul Haggis, director
Beck Hansen, musician
Isaac Hayes, musician, actor, and
formerly voiceover artist ("Chef" from "South Park")
Katie Holmes, actress, introduced
to Scientology by fiancé Tom Cruise
Nicky Hopkins, musician (deceased 1994)
Mark Isham, musician
Milton Katselas, acting teacher
Chaka Khan, singer
Jason Lee, actor ("My Name is Earl") and professional
skateboarder
Geoffrey Lewis, actor
Johnny Lewis actor
Juliette Lewis, actress
Christopher Masterson, actor
Danny Masterson, actor
Lisa McPherson (deceased 1995), died at Fort
Harrison Hotel
Peter Medak, director
Jim Meskimen, actor and improviser
Sofia Milos, actress (CSI: Miami)
Elisabeth Moss, actress
Floyd Mutrux, writer, director and
producer
Haywood Nelson, actor
Corin Nemec, actor
Marisol Nichols, actress
Judy Norton, actress and musician
Brandy Norwood, actress and singer
(unclear if she's really in)
Eduardo Palomo, actor, and his wife Carina, actress and
musician
Don Pearson, 'Management by Statistics' consultant
Michael Peña, actor
Bernadette Peters, actress and
singer (source: Bergen Record 3/10/1985, may be an ex-member)
Laura Prepon, actress, introduced
to the Church of Scientology by boyfriend Christopher Kennedy
Masterson
Lisa Marie Presley, singer and daughter of Elvis
Priscilla Presley, actress and wife of Elvis
Kelly Preston, actress and John Travolta's wife, raised Catholic.
Leah Remini, actress
Giovanni Ribisi, actor, raised Scientologist.
Marissa Ribisi, actress, wife of Beck
Hansen, sister of Giovanni Ribisi, raised Scientologist.
Mimi Rogers, actress (believed to
not be active in the church anymore, but still holds the beliefs) Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, U.S. House member from Florida
Pablo Santos, actor
Billy Sheehan, rock bassist
David Singer, chiropractor, 'Management by Statistics'
consultant
Reed Slatkin, criminal ponzi
scheme perpetrator
Michelle Stafford, actress
Ethan Suplee, actor
Greta Van Susteren, host of On the Record with Greta Van Susteren on FNC
John Travolta, actor, raised Catholic.
Josh Wiener, actor
Edgar Winter, musician
Bryan Zwan, founder and CEO of Digital Lightwave

(reference: Wikipedia.
"Listing of scientologists")

One can attempt to argue that Scientology is no more asinine than Jesus rising from the dead to save us from sin.

No.

Scientology is way, way, WAY more fucking retarded than that. Plus, you'll never see a Catholic priest driving around in a Cadillac or Lexus.

So, now that you're more informed about the horrors of Scientology, the next time someone says "yeah, I'm Scientologist," please perform your civic duty by punching that person (or persons) square in the nuts or tits, whichever applies, because as much as I rock . . . I can't be everywhere at once.

Side note: You're probably wondering why I've linked every instance of the word "Scientology" to the same web page. Well, not only is it meant to enlighten you about the horrors of Scientology but also to serve as a lesson in something called "Google bombing." Consider yourself a tad smarter than you were ten minutes ago.

Women, I must direct your attention here . . .

2006-07-02T12:56:00.000-07:00

Take heed ladies. This guy knows what he's talking about.

Click here to finally understand why men don't like you.

The time is near.

2006-06-30T18:40:00.000-07:00

A peculiar, enigmatic site appeared some time ago called Eon8. The only non-cryptic piece of information on the site is a timer referring to some project. A bunch of people who frequent www.ytmnd.com launched an investigation on the event. Click here to see what we've come up with.

note: The site itself is no doubt getting a flood of traffic, so don't be surprised if it won't load. The investigation site I linked should work fine though.

Look for yourself and decide what it means . . . because we only have 2 hours left . . . and counting.

**update** with 30 min left, we still don't have a fucking clue. I'll be sure to let you know when the time is up. (watch it be a promotion for dental floss or a new soda . . . just watch)

**update final** Well, I really did think that maybe it was a promotional thing for a product or some ARG (alternate reality game.) But apparently it was just a test to see how people would react to lack of information. Since the site is still a bit inundated with traffic, here are screenshots from the "reveal the truth" page.

Here and here.

I have to say, it was interesting to watch everyone panic, assuming something bad was going to happen. It always baffles me how people naturally assume the worst, especially when a countdown is involved. It was just as likely to have been a cure for AIDS as a terrorist attack . . . but no one considered that for even a moment.

Stay a while . . .

2006-06-29T20:02:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to assess just how many people read this stuff, which is the reason for the counter at the bottom. I have to say, I've gotten a few more hits than expected (yeah, I was expecting that few,) but I don't know if people are actually regular readers or just "passing through . . ." taking a glance and promptly leaving, never to return. It's probably the latter, unless you followed me here from livejournal, in which case its probably the former. Leave a comment or email and help me get an idea of how many people, you know . . . give a shit.

Flag burning anyone?

2006-06-27T18:03:00.000-07:00

In case you were not aware, the senate just tried to pass a bill giving them the power to ban flag burning (as in the US flag.) Now, there's no way that'd ever pass in the house anyways, but it still troubles me that the proposal only failed by one vote.

1st of all, flag burning isn't exactly rampant. It's happened like what . . . 3 times?

"But William . . . flag burning is teh suck and is OMGWTFUNAMERICAN if you don't like this country get out LOL!"

You people are the ones slowly destroying the reason this country IS so great. That reason is freedom. More and more I'm having to say "I'm free, *but* . . ." I understand that freedom has its limits, but not when you're dealing with our complete and unadulterated freedom of speech. Flag burning would be a form of protest . . . protest being what this country was fucking FOUNDED on. This also applies to the "leave the country if you don't like it" imbeciles out there, so pay REAL close attention to what I'm about to say.

Because of our freedom of speech and freedom to protest:

-minorities have rights
-women have rights (although we still can't seem to get an amendment stating it)
-Vietnam fucking ENDED
-people don't live in fear to speak out against our government (as is the case in many countries)
-the prisons were reformed (whipping posts and sweat boxes anyone?)
-pornography is protected (read: boobies for you)
-safety reforms in cars, construction, etc etc

So, if you people had your way and everyone left who had a problem with something, this would be a very empty place. Actually, due to freedom of speech, almost EVERYTHING we have today is a result of that fundamental amendment. We don't need to be dicking around with the Bill of Rights in particular, simply because their purpose is to protect the individual from the majority (sorry, just because you're the majority doesn't mean you're inherently right.) Therefore the concept of having a majority vote to change something in the Bill of Rights is asinine . . . but by God we seem to be trying anyways.

Oh, and if you disagree with me, that's just an easy way to tell that what you think is wrong.

Yoda rave (stutters till done loading . . .)

2006-06-26T21:34:00.000-07:00

How great is that. I mean really. See it with music below.
source: http://raveyoda.ytmnd.com/

firefox users

2006-06-26T19:32:00.000-07:00

If you don't know what firefox is, then don't read this, as it does not pertain to you.

...

Also, if you don't know what an AT-AT is . . . time for you to leave too

...

Now that the IE users and Star Wars illiterates are gone, I just want to say that I notice that my AT-AT of badassitude looks like he's hopped up on crack over there if you use firefox. Not sure what causes that and I'm not sure how to fix it (works fine everywhere else.) If you know anything useful about it, let me know in comments.

You, sir, are a man. (Repost of 5/30/06)

2006-06-26T19:23:00.000-07:00

Words cannot describe the amount of testosterone that must be pumping through this man's pores.

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/13043875/?GT1=8199

For those too lazy to read it, here is what happened. A man was strolling with his faithful canine companion when suddenly some bitch-ass alligator tried to make a meal of the pup. Upon seeing his pal get dragged into the water, the man (Mike, a man's name) without skipping a fucking beat, jumped INTO the water with the alligator to retrieve his golden retriever (har har,) because Mike doesn't take shit from anyone. Mike proceeds to beat the living fuck out of the undoubtedly stunned alligator, pries its jaws open with nothing but his bare hands and raw testicular fortitude, and saves his dog.

After securing the dog's safety, Mike promptly dove back into the water to finish wailing on the little bitch alligator, whom Mike has decided would look great as a suitcase and pair of boots. After ten solid minutes of ruining the alligator's shit, Mike ripped his reptillian foe in two with just his massive pecks and laughed like a pirate. Mike's hardcore like that.

Finally, he took the battered remains and stuck it on a pike, as a warning to the gator's friends and family not to try the same shit . . . cause Mike might be watching.

Try this people . . . (Repost of 6/15/06)

2006-06-26T19:18:00.000-07:00

Time for a mind fuck. I'm not sure if this works on all versions of windows, but it does on 2000 and XP. Here's what you do, it's simple:

1.) Open a new notepad file
2.) Type "Bush hid the facts" minus quotes
3.) save and reopen

Do it.

All credit for this find currently goes to sivs, the maker of this ytmnd:

http://notepadbush.ytmnd.com/

*update 6/26/06*
Anyone who can tell me why this happens will win two internets. (Hint: it's NOT a conspiracy.)

Is it really that hard?

2006-06-26T19:11:00.000-07:00

It's safe to say that there are a few things that piss me off. Something that really gets me going though is when people cancel plans on me. Well, I should rephrase. What I hate is when people need to cancel, but decide not to tell me until the last fucking minute, if at all (read "stood up.") Why is this hard? Are you too embarrassed to call me and tell me something came up? I really don't care if you have to cancel . . . shit happens. What chaps my ass is when I get ready to go, wait all day in anticipation and find out at the last minute that something came up that you could have told me a day ago. Please. We've all had it happen, some worse than others. If not, then chances are that YOU'RE the one doing it . . . so fucking stop.

Also, it seems that I'm now getting into the DDR thing.
God help up all.

On second thought . . .

2006-06-25T18:22:00.000-07:00

I find it easier to just link to my old live journal, to hell with reposting all that crap. If you like anything you read here, then head to willismaximus.livejournal.com for loads more of . . . whatever it is you'd call this crap

Breaking in

2006-06-25T17:56:00.000-07:00

Just an intitial trial post. Bout like a formality I guess. I plan to convert old works to here, which means a shitload of updates all at once.